Growing up a brat

Every nook in the room appeared organized, every surface tidied. Pens neatly lined the side of his desk. His bedside had two piles of books stacked largest to smallest, including his Bible and daily devotional.

Across the room, a shelf displayed war history books, historical fiction novels and political memoirs, each of them well-loved but still in pristine condition.

European sports posters hinting at childhood memories overseas adorned the otherwise blank walls, sheets pulled neatly across the black frame. Everything served its purpose and had its place.

This was the room of a brat.

Drake Trosper grew up a military brat. Born into a military family, moving every three years to a new city was normal. Facing a unknown deployment was just part of life. Sacrificing friendships, consistency and even knowledge of his father’s whereabouts in Afghanistan was the expectation.

Few realize the sacrifice that not only service-members, but also their families make to serve this country.

Early years

Trosper was born in Wichita Falls, Texas, where his family was stationed at the Sheppard Air Force Base. His dad joined the Air Force after graduating from Texas A&M University and at this point, served for five years already.

After finishing in Wichita Falls, the Trospers moved to Dayton, Ohio, where Trosper remembers growing up and gradually realizing that other families lived very different lives.

“We lived in military housing so all the people around us were military, we would go on base a lot, so I think that’s when I made the connection that this wasn’t the way that everyone’s family was,” Trosper said.

This isn’t normal for all kids, but according to a US Department of Defense special report on the month of the military child, there are 2 million military children. These children often move between 6 and 9 times throughout grade school.

Trosper said he felt like living on base was a tight-knit community. It seemed normal to him as a kid, despite its small size.

Moving around

After living in Ohio, the Trospers relocated six more times.

“We moved on average every three years,” Trosper said. “We moved to Oklahoma City, then we moved to Millbrook, Alabama, and then from there we moved to Ljubljana, Slovenia, which was the first time we lived anywhere overseas and then we moved from there to New Braunfels, Texas, where I graduated high school and came to A&M.”

After Trosper left high school for college, his parents and two younger siblings moved to Sumter, South Carolina and eventually back to New Braunfels. They expect another move soon, but hope to retire in New Braunfels, their favorite relocation yet.

Military families relocate 10 times more often than civilian families, according to an article by Blake Stilwell for We Are The Mighty, a online military lifestyle resource.

Each time the Trospers moved, the four kids had to enroll in in a new school, make new friends, start new activities, find a new church, and experience the full weight of uprooting.  While living overseas, the Trospers were the only Americans at their school.

According to “Third Culture Kids: Focus of Major Study,” a study by Ruth Hill Useem, 80% of children who grew up outside of their parents culture including military brats, claim that they can relate to anyone, regardless of differences such as race, ethnicity, religion, or nationality.

“When I was a kid, it was pretty easy,” Trosper said. “A lot of places we moved were used to having military families in and out, so making friends wasn’t too bad.”

New Braunfels, however, was different. Instead of living close to the base, the Trospers decided to live in a small suburban area outside of San Antonio. The kids in New Braunfels weren’t used to military families like the others in other locations. Most people in New Braunfels had lived there their whole life, Trosper said.

“It was a lot harder to break into friend groups and find people there that were looking for new friends,” Trosper said.

New places

Trosper said he loved growing up in so many different and diverse places. The different cultures he experienced, even in the United States, gave him a perspective that he said he thinks other people may lack.

A majority of military brats report that they are extremely adaptable and assimilate quickly into new situations and towns, according to author Mary Edwards Hertsch in her book “Military Brats: Legacies of Childhood Inside the Fortress.”

Jack Holt, Trosper’s current roommate of two years and close friend said that Trosper impresses his friends with his breadth of knowledge.

“He is just so knowledgeable about so many different things,” Holt said. “I don’t know if its because he lived in a different country and moved all over but he is so well-rounded, it kind of blows my mind.”

Trosper said he cherishes the memories made living overseas and couldn’t imagine living a any other way. He values the opportunities he had to grow and learn around kids who came from very diverse backgrounds.

“I’ve gotten to travel incredible places, I’ve gotten to meet really cool people and have a lot of opportunities that if I was living in one place I wouldn’t have gotten to have,” Trosper said. “That’s definitely made me who I am today.”

Hardships of moving

One of hardest things about moving was the two months the Trospers usually spent in transitional housing before moving into the home they would stay in permanently, Trosper said. In those two months, the house would become bleak and empty as their furniture and belongings moved from one place to the next and they were leaving a house behind.

“Bouncing around and not being settled was the hardest part,” Trosper said. “Sometimes we didn’t even know where we were moving until we packed up our house. But that was the expectation and what we were used to.”

Trosper said he never resented his family or his childhood or the situation. He remembers feeling frustrated at some of the rough transitions moving, but said he always saw the positive in each of his experiences and deeply appreciates his childhood.

“One of the really cool things about my family did and still does, is that they don’t go into a place with a short-term mentality, but they really go somewhere with the intent of pouring into people and being invested in the people, buying in completely and not holding anything back,” Trosper said. “That definitely trickled down into all of us kids as well.”

Investing in the people everywhere they went made each experience rich with community and memories. Trosper said he still keeps up with friends he made overseas and even was the best man in a childhood friend’s wedding overseas.

“Trosper doesn’t need to have a big group of people around him, but he loves the people that he’s close to really really well,” Jack said. “You know he’s going to be there, you know he’s loyal, he’s not going anywhere.”

Value of family

Over the years and different places lived, Trosper’s relationship with his family grew and evolved, he said.

“It forced us to come together as a team,” Trosper said. “As we’re making those transitions, those are the only people around. We had to lean on each other and really rely on each other. We also had to learn how to make the best of any situation alongside one another and learn how to make everything fun and make things enjoyable.”

Trosper fondly looks back on time spent with his siblings growing up. Friends and community were never constant for the Trospers. Instead, their family grew together and supported each other, Trosper said. As he’s grown up, he found he appreciates his family more and more.

“I would not trade my family for anyone in the world,” Trosper said. “I think that they have been excellent role models and have provided so many opportunities for me and my siblings. They’ve taught us and grown us so much in so many different ways.”

Military kids often mirror the values, ideals and attitudes of their parents more closely than children of civilians and studies show they are more disciplined than civilian peers, Stilwell said.

Trosper said he takes a lot of pride in his dad, who serves in the Air Force. Growing up, his dad also served as his biggest role model.

Austin Jacobs, Trosper’s roommate of two years and one of his closest friends, said that Trosper and his dad are identical. Not only do they share looks, but also they share the same sense of humor and way of thinking.

“He’s made a lot of sacrifices for his country and he’s made a lot of sacrifices personally for the betterment of his family,” Trosper said. “Knowing that there are so many people across the world who are thankful for that and recognize that is something that is really cool and makes me so proud of him and what he has done.”

From experiencing this childhood that may look a little different from the rest of the country’s, Trosper thinks it made him more flexible and able to make the best of any situation, he said. It taught him not to fight the uneasy situations, but to lean into them and find the positive.

“Drake has taught me that it doesn't matter what other people think as long as you’re confident in yourself,” Jacobs said. “Drake doesn’t let people dictate his emotions.”

Among military kids, there is a high occurrence of resilient personalities, superb social skills, high levels of multicultural awareness and an increased likelihood of service-related career paths, according to author Morten G. Ender in the book “Military Brats and Other Global Nomads: Growing Up in Organization Families.”

“He has a great way of putting things into perspective, which makes life a lot more fun and a lot more enjoyable,” Holt said.

Trosper could see himself following in his dad’s footsteps and joining the military after graduating college. He thinks he gained valuable experiences that shaped him for the better, he said.

Family’s lasting impact

Trosper said that he is happy that people are starting to recognize the sacrifice that military families make. He explained his respect for his mom has grown over the years as he recognizes the sacrifice and work it took to raise him and his siblings and support his dad.

“My dad has served a ton, but there’s no chance he could have done that without my mom,” Trosper said. “I really like that that’s becoming more and more acknowledged: the people behind the servicemember themself.”

Going through the hardships of moving and assimilating to new cultures gave Trosper an appreciation for the support system his family is.

“It has shown me the importance of my family and how everything else in my life is built off that,” Trosper said. “That’s something incredibly important to me because that was such a big part of getting through the hardships.”

Normal looks different

Four states and two countries later, Trosper looks back on his childhood as a military brat with gratitude and thankfulness, he said. Though never enlisting, Trosper served the United States behind the scenes, sacrificing more than the average American kid.

Now, a junior at Texas A&M, Trosper prepares to make his own decisions and forge his own path, with a loving and supportive family behind him and a promising future ahead, thanks to his unique experience as a military kid.

“Some people may look upon it as strange, but for us that’s just the way life is,” Trosper said. “Normal looks different for everybody.”